you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
