between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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