They should really pass out barf bags in church
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
