Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
