Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
