I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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