Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
