we have officially lost it.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
