You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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