I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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