I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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