So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize