I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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