So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
