Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
