I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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