Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize