When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
