What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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