thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
