I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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