I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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