in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
