real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
