I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
