and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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