the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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