i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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