The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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