Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
