i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
