Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
