good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
