i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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