Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
