It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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