no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
