I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
