I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
