I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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