hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
