please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
