How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
