im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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