she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
