That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
