I'm going to jail i love you
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
