and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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