He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
