go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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