Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
