dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
