Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
