woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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