This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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