He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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