so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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