You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
