so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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