I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
