I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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