Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
