Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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